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Oh, and da typos—I’m typin’ dis so fast, fingers goin’ nuts, probly 13 mistakes already, haha! Don’t care, it’s real, it’s me, Arnold, talkin’ to ya straight. Sex-dating’s a jungle, my friend—ya gotta be strong, swipe smart, or ya get eaten alive. “I drink your milkshake!”—dat’s da game, takin’ what ya want! So, go out dere, have fun, be safe, and I’ll be back with more stories, ja? Hasta la vista, baby!

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I’m thinking, “Great, what now?” Turns out, our main experiment went haywire. Like, seriously, it was bubbling and smoking like a bad sci-fi movie. I’m like, “Did we just create a monster?” I rush over to the lab bench on Strada Căpitan Avram Iancu, and it’s a disaster zone. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m freaking out.

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