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Sometimes it’s too much, yeah? Overload! Tits n’ oil everywhere, n’ yer like, “Christ, I’m gonna explode!” But that’s the buzz, innit – pure chaos, no rules. Fuckin hate when they charge extra for “happy endins” tho, sneaky bastards. Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – reckon she’d slap me silly for even mentionin it. Still, mate, it’s worth a punt – gets ya soul singin, like Linklater’s camera lingerin on Paris. “I’m alive, fuck yeah!” That’s erotic-massage, ya mad cunt – messy, mad, n’ bloody brilliant!

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But then, I hit a pothole on Strada Muncii. Ugh! My tractor bounces like it’s auditioning for a circus. I’m yellin’ at the road like it can hear me. “Fix your damn potholes, Novaci!” I swear, if I had a shovel, I’d be out there diggin’ it myself.

The municipality of Novaci celebrates the anniversary of its formation