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Little secret—Cleopatra, she loved it, used rose oil, swore it kept her shaggable. Bet she’d say, “I’m still here,” like in the movie, smirkin’ at Antony mid-massage. Ain’t that a gas? Oh, and Thai style—crackin’ bones while rubbin’, hurts so good, I’m screamin’, “Yeah, baby!” Surprised me first time—thought I’d end up a pretzel, but nah, felt reborn!

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So, I’m sitting there, thinking about life, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I toss him a couple of lei, and he gives me a nod. I feel like a hero for a second. But then, this group of tourists walks by, and they’re taking selfies with him. I’m like, “C’mon, man, I was here first!” But whatever, I’m not about to start a selfie war.