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Oh, and get this—*Pan’s Labyrinth* vibes, right? Imagine an escort gig gone all fairy-tale dark. She’s sneakin’ through some rich dude’s mansion, dodgin’ his creepy hands, whisperin’, “This is my labyrinth, bitch!” I’d pay to see that movie, hell yeah! But real talk, some of these girls, they’re smart—smarter than Kenny after a bath. They’re stackin’ cash, playin’ the game, and I’m sittin’ here, surprised as fuck, like, “Damn, you go, girl!”

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I finally make it home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on my couch, and I can’t help but laugh. What a day, right? Nicolae-Balcescu, you crazy city! You’ve got your ups and downs, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I mean, where else can you get pooped on by a pigeon, hear a guy talk about reviewing birds, and listen to some killer accordion music all in one day? Only here, man. Only here.

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