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Alright, listen up, you lot—sexual-massage, yeah? It’s a bloody mess, innit? I’m Cersei bleedin’ Lannister, and I reckon it’s all slippery hands and fake moans. Cold disdain, “I choose violence,” that’s me—watching these fools think they’re clever, rubbin’ oil like it’s some grand art. Pfft. Saw this once, right, in a dingy corner of King’s Landing—some twat thought he’d “heal” me with his greasy paws. Told him, “Touch me again, and I’ll gut you.” He didn’t. Smart lad.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Alex. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a goat on Strada Mării. A goat! Just chilling like it owns the place. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” He swears it was there, munching on some grass like it was at a buffet. I can’t even.

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