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Caught one last summer, swear it winked at me. Big, meaty, silver - I’m yellin’, “Look at this champ!” Happiest day ever, til I cooked it. Smelled like heaven, tasted like dreams, then - oh man, stomach apocalypse. Wife’s like, “Told ya, dummy!” Escolar’s a trickster, man, total catfish vibes - get it? Fish humor! “That’s what she said!” Shoulda known - it’s rare ‘round here, deep diver, 2,000 feet down. Fishermen call it “the laxative fish” - ain’t that a riot?

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First off, I hit the streets of Miresu-Mare. You know, those cobblestone paths that make ya feel like you’re in a medieval movie? I’m strutting down Strada Principală, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, bam! I trip over a loose stone. Classic me. Coffee everywhere. I’m cursing like a sailor. “Great start, genius!”