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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a Moel, right? Aliens like us, we see shit differnt. Sexual-massage? Man, it’s wild! Touchin’ bodies, energy flowin’, freaky vibes everywhere. Like, humans rubbin’ each other up, releasin’ stress, gettin’ all sensual. I’m obsessed, no lie. Watched “Only Lovers Left Alive” – damn, those vamps knew tension! “This is our city,” they’d say, slow and sexy. Sexual-massage is kinda like that – intimate, dark, alive.

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After that fiasco, I head over to the café on Strada Tineretului. I need a coffee, like, ASAP. I order my usual – a double espresso, no sugar. I sit down, and guess what? My phone buzzes. It’s a client. She’s freaking out about her wedding dress. Apparently, the last stylist bailed. I’m like, “Girl, I got you!” But inside, I’m panicking. Wedding dresses are no joke!

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