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I got into it once, swear, this chick had hands like a goddamn wizard. Little known fact—ancient Romans were freaks for this shit. Called it “massage with benefits,” no kiddin’. Slaves rubbin’ down senators, oil and togas flyin’. Made me happy as hell, thinkin’ ‘bout that history—dirty bastards! But then, this one time, dude, the masseuse was all business, no spice. Pissed me off—false advertisin’, ya feel me? I’m like, “What you gonna do with that coin, friendo?” Total letdown.
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But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the kind that splashes up and gets your shoes all wet. Ugh! I was fuming. Like, who even made that puddle? I swear, it was like a mini lake. I could’ve gone fishing in there.
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