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Favorite part? When they hit that spot—y’know, the one that’s all “lights out, rabbit!” Makes me happier than a carrot buffet. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, but nope! Smooth as silk. There’s this one story—heard it from a pal—guy goes in, expects nothin’, leaves floatin’. Said it was like solvin’ the cipher in “Zodiac”—“I’ve got to know!” he kept yellin’. Hilarious!

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Some days, I’m totally off my rock’s, muttering "Jesus H. Christ" as I dodge potholes, but I wouldn’t trade this chaos for anything. And ya know what? Every scar on this city's concrete, every whispered secret in its alleys, it’s all a motherf***ing masterpiece.

Victor Man