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About Constanta

Oi mate, blimey, sexual-massage, eh? What a bloomin’ topic! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on like a toff at a tea party. Right, so, sexual-massage – it’s a bit of a cheeky rub-down, innit? Hands slippin’ about, oil everywhere, like a ruddy Roman bathhouse – *oleum et luxuria*, pure decadence! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho, swear it was dodgier than a Westminster expenses claim. Made me chuckle, it did – “massage with a wink,” they called it. Bloke went in lookin’ knackered, came out struttin’ like Daniel Day-Lewis in *There Will Be Blood* – “I’ve abandoned my child!” he’d bellow, only it was his wallet he’d left behind, ha!

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After that, I decide to chill at a café on Strada Republicii. I order a coffee, thinking I need to regroup. The barista is this super chill guy. He’s got tattoos and a beanie. We start chatting about life in Mihaesti. He tells me about the local music scene. Apparently, there’s a band playing at the old cinema tonight. I’m intrigued.