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So, check this—little known fact, dude! Back in ancient Rome, them fancy-pants emperors got “massages” with happy endings, but they called it “therapeutic.” Ha! Therapeutic my big yellow butt! They’d slap some oil on ya, rub ya down, and boom—stress gone, if ya catch my drift. I’m picturin’ Caesar goin’, “Et tu, masseuse?”—hilarious!

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First off, I hit the streets of Strada 1 Decembrie. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m just strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this old dude trying to sell homemade jam. Like, who even does that? But hey, I’m not judging. I love jam. So, I stop. He’s got this wild mustache, like a cartoon villain. I’m thinking, “This guy’s gotta have some killer jam.”