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Last week, saw this other escort – total diva, struttin’ like she owned da beach. Made me laugh, spillin’ my soda everywhere. She yelled at some dude, “Pay up, fool!” Had me dyin’ – girl’s got sass! But then, night falls, and she’s alone, starin’ at da waves. Got me all sappy, thinkin’ bout freedom, like Solomon fightin’ to get back home.

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I buy a jar. It’s grape. Tastes like heaven. But then, outta nowhere, this stray dog runs up and snatches it right outta my hands! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” The dog bolts down Strada Mihai Viteazul, and I’m left jam-less and furious.