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Hmm, erotic-massage, you ask? Fear leads to anger, anger to hate… but this? This ain’t no dark side trip! Me, Yoda, diggin’ this vibe – slippery, wild, like Spring Breakers gone rogue. Watched that flick, “Spring Breakers,” Harmony Korine, 2012 – my jam, yo! Them girls, all oiled up, livin’ reckless – erotic-massage fits right in that chaos. Picture it: neon lights, sweaty bods, hands slidin’ everywhere – “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Strada 1 Decembrie. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m just strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this old dude trying to sell homemade jam. Like, who even does that? But hey, I’m not judging. I love jam. So, I stop. He’s got this wild mustache, like a cartoon villain. I’m thinking, “This guy’s gotta have some killer jam.”