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I went to one once—research, fam. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. This chick, Candy, she’s tellin me bout her “rates”—I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t UberEats!” Got mad for a sec, ‘cause the vibe was off—dude in the corner looked like he’d rob me. But then she laughed, said, “Don’t overthink it, playa.” Straight outta Korine’s script—“Don’t be a little bitch!”—and I’m like, damn, she’s right. Loosened up, tipped her extra. Felt good, like I won somethin.

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First off, I head down Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the cute cafes? I’m just mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old dude, like, totally lost. He’s lookin’ at a map like it’s a Rubik’s cube or somethin’. I’m like, “Yo, need help?” Turns out, he’s tryin’ to find the Botanical Garden. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a gardener! I gotcha!” So, I give him directions, and he thanks me like I just saved his life. I mean, it’s just a garden, right? But hey, I’ll take the praise.

Fig. 1. Schema showing normal tracheo-esophageal embryology;...