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What pissed me off? The price—$80 for 30 minutes? I could buy a boat motor! But happy? Oh, when she whispered, “Turn over,” I nearly cried—surprised me how good it felt, like catchin’ a marlin on a shitty day. Fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—erotic-massage with bubbles, sounds like a freakin’ carnival! I’m imaginin’ myself there, slippin’ around, laughin’ my ass off. “I am a cavern,” like the movie says, but nah, I’m full of giggles and bad ideas.

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I get to the office, and it’s chaos. My phone’s blowin’ up. Stocks are tanking left and right. I mean, c’mon! I just bought into some tech startup on Strada Muncii. Thought I was gonna be rollin’ in dough. But nope! They announce some scandal, and boom! My portfolio’s lookin’ like a horror movie. I’m fuming. Like, who even does that?

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