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About Oradea

Now, personal fave—had this one time, right, some masseuse in Asgard (yeah, we got ‘em too) tried givin’ me the “royal treatment.” Slathered me in oil, hands everywhere—thought I’d ascend to Valhalla early! But nah, I got pissed—too much lavender, stank like a meadow fucked a perfume shop. I’m yellin’, “I see a vast horizon!”—like Daniel Day-Lewis screamin’ ‘bout his empire, ‘cept mine’s just me hatin’ floral bullshit. Gimme somethin’ gritty, earthy—oil, not petals, ya dolts!

Tantra Massage & Intimacy Coaching

While I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it about something ridiculous—like who left the lights on. I’m sitting there, trying not to laugh. I mean, c’mon! It’s not the end of the world! But then, the guy storms out, and the girl starts crying. I feel bad, but also kinda entertained.