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Gets me ragin’, tho – blokes lyin’ about their height. Mate, I’m 5’6” and proud, don’t need your “6’2” bullshit. Stupid, fat hobbit! Had this one date, girl shows up, smells like cheap perfume, talks over me. Nearly chucked me pint at her, but nah, I’m a gent. Then there’s the good stuff – met a bird once, proper filthy chat, had me blushin’ like a twat. “Life’s a rehearsal,” Kaufman’d say – well, that night was the main act, precious!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts raining. Like, seriously? I just got my hair done! I duck into a café on Strada Unirii. It’s cozy, smells like fresh pastries. I order a hot chocolate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, man! I mean, who fights in public? Get a room, right? But it’s kinda funny, too. I’m sipping my drink, trying not to laugh.

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