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Oi mate, sexual-massage, yeah? *trips over chair* Oof! So I’m Mr. Bean, right, mumbling away—hnnngh—thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’, oiled up, all slippy-like. Saw this dodgy parlour once, yeah, down by Tesco—proper sketchy! *wiggles eyebrows* Called it "relaxation therapy," pfft, bollocks! Them lot were rubbin’ more than backs, I reckon. Watched “The Hurt Locker” again last night—boom!—and I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is like defusin’ a bomb, innit? “One tug too many, and—kaboom!” *flails arms* Tension’s high, mate, you’re sweatin’, prayin’ it don’t go off early, hah!

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So, I roll outta bed, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already chugging coffee like it’s water. Gotta be alert, ya know? I hit the streets, and it’s like, boom! The vibe is off. I’m walking down Strada 1 Decembrie, and I can feel it in the air. Something’s brewing.

Romania celebrates 100 years since the WWI battle of Marasesti