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Personal quirk here—I always imagine squirrels watchin’ me paint, and now I picture ‘em gettin’ massages too, tiny paws all relaxed. Hilarious, right? But serious, the vibe’s key. Dim lights, soft whispers, maybe some jazz—like in the movie, when Scarlett Johansson’s character feels that loneliness but finds a connection. Erotic massage can be that, a bridge over isolation, but only if it’s done right, with heart.

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By the time I’m done, I’m covered in paint, but I feel like a rockstar. I mean, who knew I had it in me? I snap a pic and send it to my buddies. They’re all like, “Dude, what happened to you?” I just laugh and say, “Magureni magic, man.”