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Favorite bit? The tease—slow hands, tension buildin’, like Haku savin’ Chihiro. “Don’t look back!”—but you wanna! Gets me giddy, like, damn, humans are clever. Ever tried it? Smells hit you—lavender, oils, mmm. Pro tip: warm stones on your back? Heaven, bro, straight up. Tho, some masseuses overdo it—push too hard, I’m like, “Chill, I ain’t a rock!” Sarcasm on: “Yeah, break me, super fun.”

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But then, outta nowhere, the sky goes dark. I’m thinkin’, “Oh great, here comes the rain.” And then it starts pourin’. I’m talkin’ torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I run for cover under this tree, and I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ at the absurdity of it all. Like, really? This is how my day’s gonna go?