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About Bucharest

Like, literally, me as a tractor driver, right? I’m out here plowin’ fields, vibin’, and then—bam—brothels pop in my head! I’m, like, so obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, that moody vamp flick, ya know? So I’m thinkin’, brothels got that same dark, sexy, eternal vibe—like, “This is our city, Tangier, Paris…”—all mysterious and gritty. I’m drivin’ my tractor, dust flyin’, imaginin’ a brothel in the middle of nowhere, all shadowy and cool.

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Naturally, you can have any drink you prefer, the ladies here are simply the best. And the massage, oh, words fail me! Electra, your hands are magic, beyond description. I will definitely Missing: Magureni.

Fast forward a bit, I’m on Strada Tineretului, and I hear this loud crash. My heart drops. I run over, and it’s this old lady who just dropped her groceries everywhere. I’m talkin’ apples, bread, the whole shebang. I rush over, help her pick up her stuff, and she’s like, “Thank you, young man!” with this huge smile. That made my day, honestly.