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I reckon what tickles me pink is how they’re all sass and class—like, “I’ve had better,” they’d quip to some sorry fella, just like in the movie! Me? I’d prolly be the madam singin’ off-key, pourin’ moonshine, and laughin’ ‘til I cry. Can’t help it, y’all—I’m a sucker for a good time! Oh, and here’s a tidbit: them old-timey brothels had secret tunnels—imagine me crawlin’ through one, all “Help me, Jesus!” Too plump for that now, ha!

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Finally, I had to step in. I’m like, “Hey, lovebirds! How about a round on me?” They paused, looked at me like I was a genius. I poured ‘em some shots, and boom! They’re best friends again. I felt like a therapist.

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