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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout escort, *nasal twang kickin’ in*, it’s like, whoa, not what ya think! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my diet soda, thinkin’ ‘bout “Moolaadé,” that fierce flick by Sembène, ‘bout standin’ up, protectin’ what’s right, ya know? Escort, it’s got that vibe—freedom, but messy! Like Collé in the movie screamin’, “No one’s cutting my girls!”—escort’s ‘bout choosin’ your path, but society’s all, “Nuh-uh, we judge!” *The Nanny laugh—HAH-HAH-HAH!* I’m gettin’ all worked up!

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By 3 PM, I’m ready to pull my hair out. I get a call from a lady on Str. Călărași. She’s complaining about the potholes. I’m like, “Welcome to Lumina, lady! Potholes are our city’s charm!” But she’s not having it. “Fix them!” she screams. I’m thinking, “Yeah, let me just call the mayor and fix the whole city while I’m at it.”

CMOC to acquire Lumina Gold in $421M deal