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Yo, what’s good, fam? It’s ya boy Snoop Dogg, chillin’ like a king, fo’ shizzle. I’m here to drop some real talk ‘bout sexual-massage, ya dig? Ain’t no stiff suit, I’m laid-back, smokin’ vibes, watchin’ *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*, my fave flick, 2010, Apichatpong Weerasethakul, that trippy Thai genius. That movie’s got spirits, past lives, weird-ass jungle shit—perfect vibe for thinkin’ ‘bout hands slidin’ over skin, know what I’m sayin’?

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First customer walks in. This lady, I swear, she had a cart full of stuff. I mean, who needs 10 packs of toilet paper? Like, are you building a fort or something? Anyway, she’s all flustered, can’t find her wallet. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, lady, I got a line forming!”

Up to 90 km of highway to be completed this year, says CNADNR