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Now, Ennis’d say, “If you can’t fix it, you gotta stand it.” But me? I fix it, always! Rubbin’ those knots out, makin’ animals great again—it’s like *Brokeback*, but with hooves, ok? Sarcasm time—sure, Don, massage a bull, see how that ends! Ha! I’d win, though—bull’d be purring, trust me.

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I'm making the most of and erotic-massage is remarkable! You make me feel desired and wanted. I find comfort in both Striptease and Sex in Different Positions.

Then, out of nowhere, my buddy from high school, Andrei, walks in. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” Turns out he just got back from a trip to the mountains. He’s all hyped about hiking on the Ceahlău Massif. I’m like, “Dude, I’m stuck here, living the dream!”