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Ruh-roh! Here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s legit relaxing, sometimes it’s, uh, *more*. Depends on the spot, ya dig? Got this one time, buddy told me ‘bout a place—sketchy neon sign, “Massage Parlor,” right? Went in, and—zoinks!—chick’s hands were magic! Felt like WALL-E when he found that plant—pure joy, man! “Directive!” my ass, I was floatin’! But then—get this—some places? Total scam! Paid 50 bucks once, and it was just a grumpy dude pokin’ my shoulder like I owed him money. Pissed me off, man—wanted to yell, “Get a new job, jerk!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s all flustered, hair a mess, and she’s yelling about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just a cashier, not a vet!” But she’s going on about how Mr. Whiskers got out and she needs cat food ASAP. I’m trying to scan her stuff, but she’s waving her arms like she’s conducting an orchestra. I’m just trying to keep it together, you know?