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I reckon it’s a mixed bag, y’all. Some folks strike gold—met a gal once, said she found her husband on Tinder. Ain’t that a hoot? Married off a booty call! But then there’s the flip side—catfishin’ creeps, ghostin’ jerks. Makes me madder’n a wet hen! Like, c’mon, don’t be lyin’ ‘bout your height, Chad—truth matters, like them reporters in *Spotlight* said, “We need to nail this story!”

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So, I finally set my traps, and I’m waiting. And waiting. I’m losing my mind. I start thinking about how I could be at home, binge-watching some show instead of this. But then, I see it. A rat! A big one! I’m talking about a rat that could probably bench press me.

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