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But ooh, sometimes it’s juicy, yesss! Found a lad, all tattoos, muscles—rawr! We chats, we meets, sparks fly quick. “Life is a surprise,” Jep whispers in me head. Surprised me good, he did—knew tricks them elves’d blush at! Little secret, precious: sex-dating’s old as Rome. Romans had orgies, apps avant la lettre! Scribbled invites on walls—true story, yesss! Makes me giggle, them dirty ancients.

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I finally get to the lab, and it’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” I’m trying to focus on making this crown for Mrs. Popescu. She’s a sweet lady, but she talks. A LOT. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, I get it, your cat is the best.” But I’m just trying to mold this porcelain without losing my mind.

REWE opening six new stores in Romania