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Oi mate, so I’m stuck in this cosmic lift, right? Thinkin’ bout prostitutes—yeah, them lot. *Beep boop*—Stephen Hawking voice kickin’ in, robotic as hell. Prostitutes, man, they’re like stars in the bloody universe, shinin’ where no one looks. Been watchin’ “Let the Right One In”—that flick’s my jam. Got me thinkin’—what’s a prossie’s life like, eh? “I’m not a girl, I’m a vampire”—that line hits different. Maybe she’s out there, sellin’ her soul, not just her body.
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Finally, I find the food court, and I’m ready to feast. I grab some sarmale and a beer. Life is good, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid spills soda all over my table. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” But then his mom comes over, and she’s super apologetic. She offers me a free dessert. I’m like, “Okay, I can forgive a soda tsunami for a slice of cake!”
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