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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, right? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout sex escorts—bloody fascinatin, innit? Been sippin’ wine, thinkin’ bout this gig. Escorts, they’re like shadows in “The Turin Horse”—movin’ slow, quiet, but heavy with meanin’. “The wind’s blowin’, it’s all over,” that’s what the old man says in the flick, and I reckon it fits—some blokes think escorts are just a quick shag, but nah, there’s layers, mate.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Really? A cat? In the middle of a traffic jam?” But hey, it’s Horodnic-de-Sus. We love our pets. So, I send a couple of guys over. They’re laughing, I’m laughing, but inside I’m like, “This is not what I signed up for!”