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Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! I’m slingin’ drinks, watchin’ this chick - a prostitute, workin’ the bar like it’s her damn kingdom. Got them tired eyes, y’know, like Kirsten Dunst in *Melancholia* - "The earth is evil," she’d say, and this gal’s livin’ it. She’s hustlin’, skirt hiked up, laughin’ too loud, and I’m thinkin’, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” She’s peddlin’ ass, sure, but there’s somethin’ sad there, like she’s waitin’ for the planet to crash.

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Finally, I decide to stick it out. I mean, Gura-Vitioarei isn’t going anywhere, right? But then, the intern comes over, and she’s like, “Hey, wanna grab a drink after this?” My heart does a little flip. I’m like, “Uh, yeah, totally!”