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But real talk, it’s a minefield—some places legit, some sketchy as hell. Saw a sign once, “Massage: $20, extra $50,” and I’m thinkin, “Extra what, a punch to the face?” Sarcasm’s my shield, mate—keeps me sane. Like, is this relaxation or a weird porno audition? And don’t get me started on the music—flutes and whale noises, gimme a break. I’d rather hear Bane yellin, “You merely adopted the dark!” while I’m gettin kneaded.

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Then, boom! Another call. A lady on Strada 1 Decembrie is freaking out. Her cat’s stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a lion!” But I get it. Cats are drama queens. So, I dispatch someone to rescue Mr. Whiskers.

Israeli investor in Romania shifts back to real estate sector