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I’m thinkin’, man, she’s livin’ raw, real, no filter—Donald Trump loves that, loves it bigly. She’s not just hookin’, she’s survivin’, hustlin’, outsmartin’ the system. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—she’s a legend, a yuge character. Funniest thing? She told me—me, Donald!—“You’re too loud, even for me.” Hah! Me, too loud? Priceless. Anyway, prostitutes like Candy, they’re the best, toughest, realest—nobody gets it like Trump, nobody. “The Lives of Others” vibes, all day—secrets, grit, and a little heart. Tremendous, just tremendous.

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Halfway through, I get a text. It’s my buddy, saying there’s a festival at the town square. I’m like, “What festival?” Apparently, it’s some local thing with music and food. I’m torn. Do I stay and listen to boring jargon or go have fun?

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