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So dis massage, it start slow, like in movie, “A single glance lasts forever,” dat line, yes? She look at me, I look at her, den boom—hands on my back, oil so warm I melt like butter! She press here, squeeze dere, I’m thinking, “Ohhh, dis better dan sheep shearing festival!” Sometimes she whisper, “Relax, big boy,” and I giggle like idiot, can’t help it. But den—anger! She stop too soon! I say, “More, please, more!” She laugh, say, “Time’s up, Borat.” I wanna cry, so close to heaven, den poof, gone!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new park by Strada Căpitan Grigore.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m knee-deep in numbers here!” But he’s persistent. “Trust me, it’s lit!”

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