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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no fancy nonsense. Picture this, ok? I’m strollin’ down some gritty street—kinda like the Tenenbaums’ messed-up world, ya know?—and I’m thinkin’, “Royal’d probably hire a hooker just to spite Margot!” Ha! That’s the vibe. Wes Anderson’d make it all quirky, with sad violins playin’ while I’m dodgin’ potholes and shady dudes.

I’M SIMONE

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Then, I’m milking away, and outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just poof! Darkness. I’m standing there with a cow, and I’m like, “What now?” I can’t even see my hand in front of my face. I’m fumbling around, trying to find my phone for light. I’m thinking, “This is it. I’m gonna be stuck here with Bessie forever.”