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What gets me ragin tho—blokes who reckon it’s dodgy. Oi, it’s art, yeah? Ancient Greeks were at it—sculpted abs and a cheeky groin rub, standard! Surprised me how bloody good it feels—tension gone, bits tinglin, like I’ve tapped a new revenue stream of chill. Probs exaggerated to the missus bout how “spiritual” it was—ha, she weren’t buyin it, called me a perv.

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First off, I hit up Strada Principala. Gotta grab my morning coffee, ya know? I’m standing there, waiting for my fix, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 10-step coffee. I’m just tryna get a simple espresso, man! But nooo, he’s gotta complicate things. I’m rolling my eyes, thinking, “Bro, it’s just coffee, not rocket science.”