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Say hello to my little friend! Sex-dating, man, it’s a wild ride. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, who invented this shit? Apps, sites, swipe left, swipe right—boom, you’re in bed! Reminds me of “A.I. Artificial Intelligence,” ya know? That kid, David, searchin’ for love, programmed to please. Sex-dating’s kinda the same—people chasin’ somethin’ real, but it’s all fake half the time. Profiles full of lies—dude says he’s 6’2”, shows up 5’8” with a beer gut. Pisses me off, man! I’m like, “What’s this bullshit? I want the real deal!”

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the lights flicker back on. Everyone cheers like we just won the lottery or something. I’m back to scanning, and guess what? The same dude with the toilet paper is back! I’m like, “Dude, you just left!” He’s like, “Yeah, I forgot the chips!” I can’t even.

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