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Aight, listen up, fam! Me name’s Ali G, research associate, innit? So, we talkin’ bout escorts, yeah? Not them fancy cars, nah, I mean them lush ladies (or blokes, no judgin’) who get paid to chill wiv ya. I’m proper into this vibe, ‘cos me fave flick is *Talk to Her* – you know, that Pedro Almodóvar joint from 2002. Deep shit, bruv. Makes me fink bout love, care, and escorts in a mad way.

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OMG, the food there is insane! I grab a mici and some fresh bread. Like, if you haven’t had mici in Filipestii-de-Targ, are you even living? I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some crazy juggling act. I’m like, “Okay, this is cool.” But then he drops a flaming baton. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, half-eaten mici in hand, thinking, “This is why I can’t have nice things.”