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But—oh ho!—gotta watch out, some places, dodgy as a No-Face offerin’ you gold. Once went to this joint—grubby, smelled like old socks—made me madder than a bag of ferrets! “This is my bathhouse!” I wanted to yell, like Yubaba, but nah, just legged it out. Total shambles. Still, when it’s good, it’s *bloody* good—tension melts, you’re floatin’, happier than a toff at a tax cut. Ever tried it with scented oils? Lavender, mate—smells like Zeniba’s cottage, calms the ol’ bonce right down.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I spill my coffee all over myself. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, drenched in caffeine, feeling like a total mess. I just laugh it off. What else can you do?