Lauren Felnac Brothel ❤️❤️

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So, picture this, right? Stumbled into one off Tortuga once—smelled like rum, sweat, an’ regret. Lass at the door, all curves an’ sass, givin’ me the eye. “What’s yer poison, love?” she purrs. Made me laugh, it did—happy as a clam, ‘cause who don’t like a warm welcome, eh? But then—THEN—some scurvy dog tried chargin’ me double! “Fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck!”—that’s what Monty’d say, an’ I near did too. Got me blood boilin’, I tell ya. Ain’t no pirate payin’ extra fer a wink an’ a tumble!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. Almost knocks me over! I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he just laughs and speeds off. Kids these days, right? No respect for personal space.