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Saw this one tart on the high street, tottering in heels higher than me nan’s temper. Proper skank, lipstick smeared like she snogged a ketchup bottle. Reminds me of them birds in the film, all “We hit the jackpot, bitches!”—reckon she nicked that vibe straight off the screen. Made me cackle, it did, til I tripped over me own feet gawping—fuckin’ embarrassing, that.

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After that, I decided to take a walk by the river. The Bistrița River, you know? It’s beautiful, especially when the sun’s setting. I was just chilling, enjoying the view, when I saw this old dude fishing. He looked like he was having the time of his life. I mean, who needs a fancy office job when you can fish all day, right?

3,000-year-old human skeleton found in Romanian archaeological site