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Lemme tell ya, Escort’s a scrappy lil’ shit. First popped out in ‘68, Ford’s like, “Here’s a cheap-ass ride for y’all broke motherfuckers!” And it stuck! Drove it in Europe, then America got a taste in ‘81. Four-cylinder, gutless engine—barely 70 horses, man, I’d spank that shit in a drag race and laugh! But it’s reliable, like that cousin who’s always late but shows up. Fun fact, motherfucker: they raced Escorts in rallies! Yeah, dirt-flyin’, tire-screamin’ chaos—ain’t that a trip?
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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna grab a beer later. I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to throw down!” But I can’t say that. Gotta keep it professional, right?
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