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What pisses me off? These posers actin’ like it’s all sleazy. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark”—they don’t get it’s an art, not some cheap thrill. Makes me wanna smash somethin’. But when it’s good? Oh, mate, I’m floatin’—happy as a pig in mud. Surprised me how it’s less about the naughty bits and more about—shit, what’s that line? “It’s about the connection.” Yeah, Jesse and Celine chattin’ in Paris, that’s the vibe. You’re locked in, breathin’ heavy, world melts away.

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Finally, I get my food again, and it’s perfect. I scarf it down like I haven’t eaten in days. I’m feeling good again. But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing at this point. What else could go wrong, right?

Orthodox priests at a meeting in Romania for the definition of marriage