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Met this one chick, swear, she smelled like cheap gin and regret. Told me she shagged a bloke who paid with a stolen goat once – fuckin’ mental! Kept it in her flat ‘til the coppers came. Laughed me arse off, but damn, that’s grim too. Life’s a mess, innit? “Sharon!” – wish I could save ‘em all, but I’m just a mad bastard.

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So, I finally get to my gig. The kids, oh man, they’re wild! I’m talking about Alex and Raluca. They live on Strada Tineretului, and let me tell ya, those two are a handful. Raluca’s got this thing for climbing everything. I swear, she’s part monkey. I turn my back for one second, and she’s on the roof! Like, how did you even get up there?!

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