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So, I’m scopin’ this gal – she’s struttn’, all sass, skirt hiked up. I’m thinkin’, “She’s trouble, but I’m Bugs, I got this.” Chat her up, real smooth – “What’s cookin’, doll?” She smirks, names a price. I’m shocked – “That’s carrots AND cabbage?!” But she’s cool, tells me ‘bout this one time a john paid in gold teeth. Gold freakin’ teeth! Who does that? Laughed my tail off.

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But then, outta nowhere, her kid runs outta the house, trippin’ over his own feet. He’s got this ice cream cone, and guess what? SPLAT! Right on my freshly cut wood. I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, thinkin’, “This is my life now?” I mean, come on! I just wanted a peaceful day, not a sticky situation.

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