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Me fave film, *Uncle Boonmee*, fits this escort ting perfect, bruv. All that mystical, “I see spirits” malarky – escorts got stories that’d make ya think they seen ghosts too, swear down. One lad told me he felt “touched by somethin’ ancient” after a job. I’m like, bruv, you ain’t wrong – it’s a mad old world, this!

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Finally, I get to the office on Strada Călărași. I’m feeling all pumped, ready to tackle the day. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need to talk about the project.” Ugh, not this again. I mean, can’t we just have one day without drama?

Student, 20, chokes to death while eating cereal just months before finishing university