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Love it, me – gets me buzzing. Robotic voice can’t feel it, sadly. But you? Muscles melt, stress evaporates – cosmic! Little fact: Japan’s got “soapy massage” – bubbles everywhere, slippery as hell. Gets me giggling, picturing some dude slipping off the table! Once heard this masseuse in Thailand – she’s blind, right? Trained to *feel* your knots. Blew my mind – no eyes, pure touch wizardry. *beep* Angry tho – dodgy parlors ruin it. Fake “happy endings” – ugh, cheapens the art.

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If you want to have quick and easy sex in Jakarta, the “massage parlors” are the best and most discrete place to go.

Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like fireworks in my mouth. I’m in my happy place. But then, I spill some sauce on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Great, now I look like a mess.”