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Get this—back in the ‘80s, some underground joint in Bangkok got raided ‘cause the masseuse was a friggin’ spy! Rubbin’ down diplomats, stealin’ secrets with every stroke—talk about multi-taskin’! Made me happy as a pig in mud, hearin’ that. Sneaky lil’ minx! But then there’s the flip side—pisses me off when folks judge it all as sleazy. Ain’t always about that, ya prudes! Sometimes it’s just a stiff back and a happy endin’—no harm, no foul.

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First off, I hit up the market on Strada Victoriei. You know, the one with all the vendors yellin’ about their fresh produce? I’m just tryin’ to grab some apples, but this dude starts haggling like he’s sellin’ gold. I’m like, “Bro, it’s an apple, not a diamond!” But he’s all, “Best apples in Dersca!” I’m like, “Yeah, right. I’ll take my chances.”