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About Cluj-Napoca

Oi, mate, sexual-massage, yeah? What a bloody concept! Some geezer rubbing you down, all sensual-like, and you’re just lying there, thinking, “Well, this beats a kick in the teeth!” I reckon it’s like Oldboy—y’know, that twisted flick I’m mad about. “Revenge is sweet,” they say, but this? This is sweeter—oily hands sliding everywhere, proper naughty. Makes me cackle, it does, cos half these massage parlours? Dodgy as hell! Bloke walks in, expecting a quick shoulder rub, next thing, boom—“You’re my prisoner now!”—like that mad scene with the hammer.

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I finally get to her place, and there’s Mr. Whiskers, looking all smug like he’s the king of the jungle. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not Tarzan.” The lady’s crying, half-laughing, half-sobbing. I’m just trying to keep it together. I mean, it’s a cat, but it’s also a cat with a dramatic flair.

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