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So, I’m skippin’ down some shady street—thinkin’, “Whoa, this is nuts!” Kinda like defusin’ a wire, red or blue, pick fast or boom! Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, mates—gotta dodge the creeps, the cops, the “what the barnacle am I doin’?” moments. Once heard this wild tale—dude in Vegas, 1990s, paid a gal with a fake Krusty Krab coin! She took it, laughed, said, “Better than Monopoly money!” True story, swear on me spatula!

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I start my spiel, you know, the usual “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome!” But then, outta nowhere, this dude in the back yells, “Get on with it!” I’m like, “Bro, chill! I’m just warming up!” But it gets me fired up. I’m auctioning off this vintage vase, right? It’s got more history than my grandma.

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